It is the reality of every mother, and indeed father, that you must deal with many a swampy nappy over the years, however nothing compares to the poonami.

Poonami is not an original term of mine, the credit for that goes to a friend, but it aptly describes the event. Poonami is the terrifying influx of poo that cannot be stopped. This can happen in a variety of scenarios, but here are mine.

Once I was home with Kyouya I was impressively good at avoiding little man’s water fountains, but wasn’t prepared for the poonami. One day, in my haste to clear up a swampy nappy, I opened it up before he’d finished. I used the top half of the nappy to wipe the worst of it all down before tucking it under his bum, and then it struck. A wave of watery poo just flowed over my hand as I put the nappy under him. I was stuck. I’ve naturally gotta clean the baby, but I can’t with my hand like this, but I can’t leave him! What if he’s STILL not done and it gets worse?! It was a real coin toss but I ran to the bathroom sink and tried to scrub myself as fast as I could. I made it through and have avoided a repeat.

The same can not be said for the poonami that escapes a nappy, something I’m certain every mother and father has experienced at least once. My boy has a gift for this. I’ve recently discovered there’s one nappy that he can’t get poo out of, (which of course saves me the hours of trying to get poo out of his clothes, but that’s a story for another time). Before this discovery, however, I was just waiting for disaster to strike.

Every time he’d get it up his back, without fail. Every time I’d wrestle between wipes or hosing him down in the shower. A lot of the time I’d just take him in the shower, I mean why waste the wipes! I’m used to it now but it’s still quite a pain in the neck.

You can grow as a person when you become a mum, and you can mature in many ways, but you can’t ever truly graduate from this stage… The psychological trauma is too much.

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