No one understands crisis of character like a new mother. Previously you could put yourself either first or pretty high up on your list, but once you’ve got a baby, all that is sidelined. That’s not to say you never put yourself first again, it’s just the priorities change. You want to go out with a friend for her birthday, but baby comes first. You want to go out for a meal or to a movie, but baby comes first. You want JUST ONE MINUTE of peace and quiet, free from worry, but baby stops that too. Don’t get me wrong: it’s worth it, but there are times where it’s harder to let things go. The other day I was faced with such a dilemma.
I found a job.
And not just any job! One I loved! It was perfect for me, exactly to my skillset, close to home, rewarding and had loads of extra benefits on top! But what about baby? Impossible right? Not to mention, typical bad timing… But I couldn’t leave it alone. I decided to apply and explain everything about my mini person in the covering letter. I didn’t want to regret not trying. I resigned myself to the fact that I was never gonna get it, especially with so many non complicated applications, and 70 other applicants. But I tried. You have to remember who you are underneath being a Mum. True to that go getter worker bee I applied and smiled that I didn’t just give up a dream.
4 days after I submitted it, I get a phone call. It’s a telephone interview! It’s excellent! He’s explaining everything and the more he says, the more I know this job was made for me. But what about baby? We talked in length and he made it clear that arranging care for baby was the only obstacle and something we’d talk about at a face to face interview, set for later this week!
I cannot believe my luck. But what about baby? He’s 4 and a half months, but he’s already calling out for mama when I’m not there. I wouldn’t be starting just yet but is it too cruel to start a full time job so early? It’s as nursery staff but there’s no guarantee my nursery has a place available for him. There’s forms to fill, people to call and oh so many obstacles. So do I have to choose between being a good mum or my dream job, or can I be a good mum AND have my dream job. Or am I worrying too soon considering nothing is signed yet?
Stay tuned, we find out Wednesday 27th March.