I had my job interview today. I have high hopes. It’s a great job and in a great place. Considering how difficult it is to leave your child in the care of someone else, I couldn’t do it for anything other than the best job that I loved.
But I worry. What am I gonna miss if I get this job? He’s extremely attached recently as I’ve tried to go to my current job more, and often cries for ‘Mama’ when I’m not there. I’m terrified that leaving him with others will cause him damage in the long run. That this is heartless. I mean, is it really necessary to do this?
We’re getting by, sure it’s tight and kinda paycheck to paycheck, but we’re ok.
Truthfully I don’t wanna leave my baby right now, but I know that this would help us all and take some pressure off daddy. I’m not the only mum to work nowadays. I just need to make my peace with it.
Tomorrow I’ll get the call about the job, and if I get it I’m gonna go at it full throttle and then make the most out of my time with Kyouya. It’s going to be heart-wrenching but there are so many good things to be said about the position and the benefits for the family. Especially since my outgoings are minimal and they pay all expenses. My entire wage packet would go to family savings! Not to mention bonuses and weekends off with the family. I’ve just gotta keep positive, and give all the love I can to my baby when I see him.
It’s so hard… I love him so much.