Determination on the home front

While mums are amazing in their own right, juggling housework, spouses and children, working mum’s deserve a little extra kudos. Juggling the above AND a job is extremely difficult. Generally speaking you must sacrifice any time you’d usually rest for the sake of the family.

Naturally a mother’s grasp on the housework, and indeed work, rest on the welfare of the family and her own body. If she or another family member are unwell, it will be impossible to keep the house exactly at her preferred standard without an even higher than normal output.

Recently, I’ve been swamped with work. I’ve also had a persistent cold. And then there’s the baby going through a growth spurt who wants 100% attention. The house looks awful, I won’t lie. But it’s ok. I know I’m doing my best. What’s more is I don’t even have it that hard. With only one tiny person to look after, I’m much less pressed than other mothers, working or not. Once I have 4 and a job, I’m sure I’ll fully understand exactly how difficult is and how hard mothers work.

Until then, I want to say “well done” to all you full time mum’s and working mum’s. You’re doing an excellent job and I live in awe of you every day.

Please make some time for you today, you deserve it.

You’re not fooling anyone!

Remember when you were a kid, when you didn’t want to go to bed? How you’d be active and try to convince your parents you weren’t tired, even when you were… And you wondered how they were never fooled? I get it now. It’s so obvious we may as well have attached flashing neon signs to ourselves saying “I’m sleepy!”

Kyouya will babble and get hyperactive whenever he’s tired. He’ll get really chatty in a desperate attempt to convince you, he’s not tired. More than that too, he’ll cry if you put him in the baby carrier. The baby carrier will win out over sleepy baby EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. It may be a few minutes, it may be 30 if he’s determined, but he WILL sleep. If I put him in it he knows I’ve caught onto him, and will cry as I put him in, but will immediately quieten down once strapped to me. It’s comfy after all!

It may be nothing much, but it makes me smile that I’ve solved this little childhood mystery. There will be more 🙂

Fever pitch

Net silence from me for the last few days following a fever that wouldn’t quit. Once you become a mum, usual resting rules don’t apply. You are needed by the tiny person who can blow raspberries with his mouth, and thoroughly enjoys it. So what would usually be a 1 day cold, spread over FOUR days, from initial scratchy throat to final phlegm farewell.

Throughout any sickness, your number one fear is always “will the tiny person get it?” Not only because you’re worried for them, but because a sick child is about as much fun as a guy with “manflu”. The key distinction between the two is that those with manflu go out of their way to tell you how awful they are feeling, children may cry but they hardly explain what’s wrong, and thus second guessing will drive an already sick mummy mad.

I got lucky. For although I was sick, little Kyouya stayed healthy. No sign of a fever, no nothing! And today my fever FINALLY broke.

Although I can’t be sure, I’m certain my worrying about little man’s health kept my fever stronger for longer. Hard though it is, I’ll have to remember to not let my mind get carried away, and deal with sick mummy pronto. You’re no use to the tiny person if you’re out of action long term.

Take care of yourselves! Xxx

Milestones on a schedule

Now that it’s April I’m working full steam. It’s a slow month, but I still have to be AT work sadly. But we’ve moved Kyouya onto solids.

What does this mean for me then? Well, besides having to strictly supervise my husband’s feeding frenzies, in which he gives him WAY too much unless I’m breathing down his neck, it also means that my little one’s tummy is having a rough time, and needs mummy to help relieve gas and other delights from the land down under.

So far this has meant he has woken up for winding a few times, but otherwise he has been sleeping better. The only thing is that, so that he can relieve his wind before bedtime, I need to get back home earlier. Not only this, I don’t want to miss out on the horrified grimaces and joyful smiles as new flavours are introduced!

He tried carrots yesterday, but daddy didn’t wait for mummy to get home… Mummy was very angry. Especially because, despite the video showing it, I wasn’t there to witness my son experiencing a new flavour. I would have loved to see it LIVE, as my son decided carrots are not for him! Instead I get the video version.

Because of my firm determination not to miss anymore feeding times, I have started altering my work schedule. I’m lucky my job allows for this, which means I will have to be careful when deciding on a future job, in order to avoid missing more special moments than are necessary.

Everything centres around my boy and all the thoughts and concerns swirl around constantly in my head, creating a nonsensical soup of words.

I hope this soup didn’t give you a headache!

First food!

We fed him his first solids today! We went for watery, mushy rice and he LOVED it. He was extremely confused at first but eventually became very sad there wasn’t anymore food. Naturally we have him a single spoon today, but in stages and he eventually got the hang of it. He even cried for more.

We spent a month deciding which food to make him first, and eventually decided we’d start bland and work to yummier foods. I’m looking forward to finding out his likes and don’t likes, especially since it’ll be dominating my time from now on.

I’ll let you know how it goes! Kyouya is almost 5 months but is super big at over 20lbs, so nearly twice his birth weight. Comment on how old your little one was when you moved to solids and what you chose as the first food!

Hairdresser fun!

I’m extremely lucky in that my nearby hairdresser (20 minute walk) is both good AND has a babysitter that doesn’t cost extra!

Yesterday, I needed to get my hair done, my roots were showing and it looked awful. I had mostly golden blonde hair with dark brown roots. Honestly embarrassing, but a regular occurrence you just have to get used to as a busy mum. Thanks to the salon though, I dont have to live with it too long.

After a lot of consideration I decided to change the blonde, and sent for a more white blonde on recommendation. I also went from mid length to my old favourite, the pixie cut. It looks great.

So far I’ve been told I look younger and thinner! I had no idea I was looking old and fat, but thank God it’s over lol. Now, I love it, my friends love it, my husband loves it… What about baby.

It. Was. Hilarious. I got a glazed staring face. He clearly didn’t recognise me at first. Then he seemed to realise a little after I spoke, but wasn’t convinced. Half way home he refused to stay in the pram anymore, and screamed in a way that showed he was convinced he’d been kidnapped. I put him in the baby carrier and he calmed down, obviously recognised my scent, and he fell asleep. It’s a day on and he’s still not convinced. He has been breastfed several times and stuff, but he seems a little unhappy still. It’s hilarious watching the amount of confusion a simple cut and colour does.

Lucky for him I’m gonna keep it this way for a while, it’s so cute. See for yourself!

Working Mummy worries 2

I didn’t get the job. It sucks. I clammed up in the interview and my answers were AWFUL. Seriously… They couldn’t script a worse one. And now I’m stuck in two minds: I want to be at home with my baby, so this is good, but I want to help support my husband.

Since I got the rejection my mind has been rocking from “yay!” To “oh my god, what have I done”. My husband has no problem with the outcome, and says he’ll support whichever way forward I choose, be it work or stay at home mum. This is where it gets hard. Working mothers are not always doing it just to stay afloat financially; we also do it because we like it. I’m a go getter, I’ve had a part time job since I was 13 and haven’t stopped working. I love it, the challenge, and it’s part of me.

You give up so much of yourself when you become a mum… Everything comes second at the very least. So to give up work if you’re a worker bee, is like giving up another side of your identity. So while the idea of being able to watch Kyouya go through these milestones is wonderful, I’m really raring to go to a job I love. Not to mention the continuing desire to help my husband. It’s a real weight, so for the next month I’m going to be trying my best to find a job that I would be satisfied to do full time, that I’d love enough that I wouldn’t feel so guilty leaving my little boy; and if I can’t find it by that time… I’m going to have to make peace with not working.

Wish me luck!

Working Mummy worries

I had my job interview today. I have high hopes. It’s a great job and in a great place. Considering how difficult it is to leave your child in the care of someone else, I couldn’t do it for anything other than the best job that I loved.

But I worry. What am I gonna miss if I get this job? He’s extremely attached recently as I’ve tried to go to my current job more, and often cries for ‘Mama’ when I’m not there. I’m terrified that leaving him with others will cause him damage in the long run. That this is heartless. I mean, is it really necessary to do this?

We’re getting by, sure it’s tight and kinda paycheck to paycheck, but we’re ok.

Truthfully I don’t wanna leave my baby right now, but I know that this would help us all and take some pressure off daddy. I’m not the only mum to work nowadays. I just need to make my peace with it.

Tomorrow I’ll get the call about the job, and if I get it I’m gonna go at it full throttle and then make the most out of my time with Kyouya. It’s going to be heart-wrenching but there are so many good things to be said about the position and the benefits for the family. Especially since my outgoings are minimal and they pay all expenses. My entire wage packet would go to family savings! Not to mention bonuses and weekends off with the family. I’ve just gotta keep positive, and give all the love I can to my baby when I see him.

It’s so hard… I love him so much.

You know you’re a mum when…

  • You arrive to work with cuddly toys in your handbag
  • You don’t notice the sick stain on your shoulder
  • You can fall asleep in ANY position to avoid waking your child
  • You frequently don’t know what the date is, and sometimes not even the day.
  • You no longer care if you’re wearing makeup to go out.
  • You put more effort in finding coats that cover up the state of your clothes, than clean clothes if you’re going to the shops.
  • When you consider 4 hours of solid sleep, amazing
  • If you can pick up an inordinate amount of things using your toes while baby is strapped to you sleeping.
  • You can now make clothes white, though you still don’t know how you’re doing it
  • When you don’t care about getting peed or pooed on, just that you lost this round

These are just today’s, but feel free to comment with your own and I’ll put them on the next list and credit you for it.

The battle for “mama” and “dada”

For those of you who know, hearing your child call you mama or dada brings unbelievable joy to your heart. There’s nothing like it… But which will they say first?

My boy recently said “mama”. He’s been saying it for ages and seemed to refer to me, but we got it with understanding and feeling on camera yesterday. I was overjoyed. Usually children say “dada” first because it’s easier to pronounce, but I got super lucky. But now daddy is a little sad and naturally a bit jealous. I think there’s a good chance he’ll cry when he finally says it to him, but yesterday he said “dada”!

Now it was the first time he said “dada” so I was stunned and didn’t get it on camera as he hasn’t repeated it, but I told his daddy. He’s even more eager to hear it now! So today my task is to encourage tiny person today dada as much as possible. I want to see my husband’s face light up as much as mine did.

But for now I’m gonna see if this tyrant will let me sleep a bit more, cos I’m shattered.