30 smiling strangers

So, here I am walking home with my headphones in and little Kyouya in the pram, and people keep smiling at me like I’m cute. Thing is… Kyouya is facing me, not them, so I can only assume that I’m accidentally humming to the music occasionally.

Fast forward 30 more smiling people and I start to wonder how loudly I’m possibly humming despite self control. Kyouya is just chewing on his hand and HAD been constantly staring at me the whole time, so I’m now CONVINCED I’m accidentally mouthing the words or something so, I take my headphones out.

Holy. Crap. Despite having his hand in his mouth, Kyouya is babbling REALLY loudly and must have been for the whole walk. I’m both relieved and embarrassed… At least I wasn’t singing.

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Horny cat strikes again!

Late the other night I made a split second decision to run to the shops for a few things, rather than wait until the next day. Everything was great until I rounded the corner and was face to face with horny kitty!

I caught it as it made another lap of our house. We paused. I wasn’t sure what to do and neither was it. I mean, does it think I have a captive horny kitty, or is it attempting to fit in to our family? I have no idea, and waited too long to do something so he ran off around the back of my house again. I looked around for a few minutes and wondered if, by waiting at the front of the house for it to finish another lap, whether or not I could scare it and maybe make it stop hunting our baby.

It got a little weird though…. My neighbor was outside. He often has a cigarette outside but I didn’t spot him. So there I am hunting a horny kitty, ducking down behind a gate in the hopes of catching this thing off guard, when I catch a glimpse of the cigarette and stand bolt upright. It was humiliating. I dashed inside after a sheepish smile, but nothing will erase that… The things we do for our children eh?

In protest

Kids are adorable in so many ways, but not when they know they’re getting a vaccine.

He may still be young but Kyouya knows when he’s at the clinic, and he knows how to get out of vaccinations. a child can’t get a vaccination when they are sick. So what does my angel do? Throw up … A lot…. Twice. Sadly doctor wasn’t fooled and after a check up he was cleared for the shots.

He screamed at me with pure hatred, and I pray his memory won’t hold this against me. I don’t want to see him hurt by preventable diseases.

Today however he has been a completely chirpy nut job that has babbled non-stop since dawn! It’s really cute though so I don’t mind. I can’t wait until the babble turns into sentences.

The list

Not a bucket list, a ‘to-do’ list. There are days when it doesn’t seem that long, but that’s because you’ve forgotten about it. This means that by the time you’ve remembered, it’s of Olympic length.

Last night I remembered mine and panicked.

Washing up, washing, drying, folding, putting away, hoovering and mopping of so many rooms. Cleaning the toilet, wash room, bathroom, hallway, entrance hall. Changing sheets and washing them. Cleaning the study and sorting out the many papers that have spread about the house. The list goes on!

There is a silver lining though. For although completing this whilst caring for a 4 month old seems impossible, if I put him in the baby carrier and wear him as I attempt the list, I can lose weight AND tone up! Yaaaaaay!

Poonami

It is the reality of every mother, and indeed father, that you must deal with many a swampy nappy over the years, however nothing compares to the poonami.

Poonami is not an original term of mine, the credit for that goes to a friend, but it aptly describes the event. Poonami is the terrifying influx of poo that cannot be stopped. This can happen in a variety of scenarios, but here are mine.

Once I was home with Kyouya I was impressively good at avoiding little man’s water fountains, but wasn’t prepared for the poonami. One day, in my haste to clear up a swampy nappy, I opened it up before he’d finished. I used the top half of the nappy to wipe the worst of it all down before tucking it under his bum, and then it struck. A wave of watery poo just flowed over my hand as I put the nappy under him. I was stuck. I’ve naturally gotta clean the baby, but I can’t with my hand like this, but I can’t leave him! What if he’s STILL not done and it gets worse?! It was a real coin toss but I ran to the bathroom sink and tried to scrub myself as fast as I could. I made it through and have avoided a repeat.

The same can not be said for the poonami that escapes a nappy, something I’m certain every mother and father has experienced at least once. My boy has a gift for this. I’ve recently discovered there’s one nappy that he can’t get poo out of, (which of course saves me the hours of trying to get poo out of his clothes, but that’s a story for another time). Before this discovery, however, I was just waiting for disaster to strike.

Every time he’d get it up his back, without fail. Every time I’d wrestle between wipes or hosing him down in the shower. A lot of the time I’d just take him in the shower, I mean why waste the wipes! I’m used to it now but it’s still quite a pain in the neck.

You can grow as a person when you become a mum, and you can mature in many ways, but you can’t ever truly graduate from this stage… The psychological trauma is too much.

Childhood skills!

Here’s some more information about my angel, past the obvious fact that he’s the most adorable baby alive, and his ability to drain my will to live some nights.

At birth he was 4684g, or 10lb 3oz, and easily dwarfed all the other babies there.

At 4 months he is now 9320g, or huge, in comparison to other babies his age. Even the formula tin says his weight should make him 9 months to a year old. He’s also 68cm tall now, but was 53cm at birth.

His eyes have changed colour continually since birth. They started off brown but changed to have blue and green tinges over the first few months. We’re now on a hazel brown which keeps getting lighter. I think it’ll be green in the end.

He’s well ahead of usual baby milestones because of his size. He was able to hold his head up well from two months old and was completely sturdy by 3 months old. He can get onto his knees while try to crawl, but naturally can’t crawl yet. He can stand whilst holding onto my fingers. He is able to full on fist grab my nipple and squeeze out my will to live. He is fully responsive to his environment and plays in his jumping thing a lot. He can sit up unsupported, though still leans forward a little. He’s an impressive chappy!

He has also been saying “mama” for a while now. The pronunciation is not perfect but he IS calling for me. It’s very early for any speech so we think he must have mine and daddy’s combined IQ.

There’s so much I could write but I can’t seem to think of anything else right now… Except that every morning he grunts while he farts for about 30 minutes.

Have a good day!

Horny cat troubles

I don’t have a cat. But this week a neighborhood cat has taken up an odd habit. Being spring they’re all out trying to mate and we hear it A LOT. However recently I’ve noticed that there’s one that repeatedly circles our house… But that’s not the weird part. It keeps mewing in the EXACT SAME VOICE that little Kyouya babbles. So I’ll here it and immediately turn to look at Kyouya. It’s so convincing I, his mother, can barely tell the difference!

My concern is that this horny kitty thinks Kyouya’s babble is a mating call, and is trying to get close. Do I need to prepare for this when I go out now? Is defending my baby from a horny kitty another mummy task now? Cos I SWEAR that wasn’t in the job description and there’s DEFINITELY nothing about it in the handbook.

A mum’s work is endless.

Sod’s Law

This law is of paramount importance to every new mum, because it applies to everything. You start cooking breakfast but baby wakes up just as it’s ready, you’re ready to leave the house when baby poops and you have to go get ready again, or like last night, baby is exhausted and begging for boob until you get into bed… At which point he stares at you with a gleeful smile and ignores your awaiting bosom.

Last night I was lucky that hubby was willing to walk him until he nodded off as it was DOUBLE sods law. I have work today and it’s like he knew! Thankfully he didn’t cause too much trouble this morning so I was able to get out the house alright. I was still late, but not by his fault… Didn’t want to leave that smushy face!

Ah well … Wish me luck! I’m hoping to do a full day of work WITHOUT irritating my babysitter for details every ten minutes.

The bane of my existence!

No, not my husband, though certainly a close second: my boobs. Since getting pregnant they’ve morphed from reasonably sized ‘fun bags’ to a gigantic pair of milk balloons, that continue to fill past capacity even when you don’t need them to.

It’s not just today, it’s every day. If I go outside for any REAL length of time I run the risk of leaking. If I don’t have Kyouya available to unload the product into, or the ever fun breast pumps, I’m a time bomb.

I worked too long without a break on my first day back at work. What happened? I leaked through my bra, breast pads and my dress. Thanks to the lighting and my jacket it wasn’t noticeable unless you were staring at my chest, which happens more often now, but it’s harder to get away with in a one on one lesson. On another occasion I HAD Kyouya, but I couldn’t find anywhere to feed him. This meant I had to tough it out and bottle feed him whilst leaking over all my clothes! I actually soaked myself all the way to my navel that day.

“Why not use the toilet?” I hear! Because A) it’s hardly clean to make him eat boob in the loos, and B) if you’ve EVER seen the cues in the ladies loos, you know that anyone taking longer than three minutes is considered evil. It’s hard enough trying to go to the toilet without breastfeeding mum’s taking up a cubicle for twenty minutes at a time. There need to be more facilities.

In Hankyu department store in Osaka on the 11th floor there’s a SUPERB baby area and breastfeeding room. It has everything you need and friendly staff to help. Since finding it my life has become SO much easier. My only, albeit slightly pedantic, complaint, is that you can’t pump breast milk in the breastfeeding room. No entry without a baby. This meant that today when I went out to buy glasses I was stuck, just filling up. Like a faulty tap, slowly filling up a bowl of water until it overflows. Gotta say, I feel lucky it didn’t come through my coat, I wasn’t wearing my breast pads lol. That could’ve gotten interesting!

Considering this bodily function can’t be ”held in” or stopped, and can become painful after a while, it’s a wonder we don’t have more facilities to help women cope with this. I hope it’ll change in the not to distant future.